ezra_of_lothal | Deer Country Inbox

I don't think he's made up with Luke, at all. Things between him and Obi-wan have been...tense.

I do care about him. I don't want to stop trying-

[How many mornings has Ezra woken up and one of his first thoughts has been - He hasn't tried to kill me yet.

Or

He hadn't killed Obi-wan yet. Those futures don't have to exist here.

Ezra truly believes that they don't have to, not here, not in Trench. Yet neither has he seen commitment from Anakin, to not make those choices, here, either. So those possibilities hang like a danging executioner's sword.

Intellectually, Ezra is aware that's probably not a healthy environment for anyone to live in.

Eventually, Ezra says, weakly-]

It's difficult to live with someone who'd probably rather you simply disappear.

Luke will always love his father. He's too good of a person not to. But I don't think he likes him very much right now. I don't blame him As for Obi-Wan.... [As always, the subject of the man Maul felt he would forever be a little in love with made him pause.] .....Well, he needs at least one person who won't give up on him, even if that might be in Kenobi's best interest.

[Maul just stared at Ezra. He hadn't been aware things were quite so tense between everyone in the house, just assuming that all the Jedi there were getting along.]

I'm surprised you're still living with him at all.

[The patience it would have taken to live with a person who despised his guts was something Maul never had possessed in his entire life.]

[Ezra doesn't think Anakin's feelings of antipathy rise to the level of hate. Somewhere between utter indifference and resentment, is where he'd peg it. Still, it's not fun with live with.

He shrugs uncomfortably. He's sure if he were a better Jedi, it wouldn't be so hard.]

Well, tense on Anakin's side, at least.

I...don't want to leave Obi-wan alone.

[His voice drops even lower.]

He's had plenty of that for a lifetime.

[Maul could understand that line of thinking.]

I know that. All too well.

[He remembered finding Obi-Wan after he'd come back experiencing Order 66 and Anakin's betrayal. He'd never seen his old foe so broken. He'd experienced so much pain and had been forced to go on living. That wasn't an easy thing.]

Why do you think I check up on him from time to time?

[He knew Ezra would have been observant enough to notice Maul's changed feelings towards Obi-Wan over the past year, how they'd become more like some weird frenemy status than anything else these days.]

[Ezra smiles faintly. He's not completely clear on the shape of Maul's feelings for Obi-wan; it's not his business anyway. But he's certain there's some form of affection there.]

I know.

[He clears his throat.]

So. Honestly, my recommendation about Anakin at this point is...disengage. As unnatural as that may feel to you.

[Aside from Anakin who hadn't believed Maul was capable of feeling that kind of love, and Reaper who would just as soon prefer Obi-Wan didn't exist, no one in Trench was fully aware of the scope of Maul's true feelings for Obi-Wan besides the man himself. Maul was content to keep it that way, uneasy to let anyone else possibly find out how much he loved the old Jedi.

He scowled as the subject came back around to Anakin, both at the suggestion and the mention of the idiot Jedi at all.]

You're right. That's not something I'm used to doing.

I know it sucks, but unless Anakin has a radical change of heart, I really do think he's going to take any interaction between you negatively, at this point.

[Maul snorted contemptuously.]

I doubt he has a heart. The last time I saw him go through a radical change it took my master torturing his son to death with Force Lightning for him to realize what he needed to do.

[Luke had trusted Maul enough to show him that memory once.]

He claims all my attempts to change are not real but he's no better. He sees no reason to change his selfish ways.

[Blandly-]

He says very similar things about you.

[He's not impressed with either of them talking about how the other is incapable of caring, or learning.]

[There was a pause and then a slight grinding sound as Maul's teeth grit together before he was able to say anything else. That had hit a nerve.]

He's biased against me. Perhaps rightfully so, I've not been keen to forgive some of the people here who have killed me, but at least I recognized there were things wrong with me and have been trying. His problem is that he doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with him at all that needs to be worked on.

There's no point to win here, Maul. It's not a contest of 'who's worse', that you can draw me into participating in.

I simply find that you sound so alike at times...interesting.

Something to think about, maybe?

Or maybe not.

[Maul wasn't at all interested in comparing notes between the way he and Anakin were similar.]

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