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[Getting the signal, Obi-Wan glances back in Leia’s direction before following Ezra. What he has to say though makes him pause and blink in surprise.]

What? … Really? How do you know?

[He certainly hadn’t sensed or noticed anything.]

[Ezra opens and closes his mouth, visibly struggling with how to explain.]

If...if you ask Rey who's taught her anything of the ways of the Force, Leia will be on that list.

Her family by blood runs very strong in the Force. I've met Leia's children, too.

[Theres a long pause from Obi-Wan as he looks at Ezra with a blank expression.]

What do you mean? Who is her blood family?

[He stares off in the far side of back porch for a moment, debating.

But if anyone can help him figure out how to navigate all this, it's Obi-Wan, right? He sighs heavily and refocused on other Jedi.]

Padmé had twins. Both...blindingly bright as newborns. Master Yoda and Master Kenobi decided it would be safer to split them up.

Ben took Luke to Anakin's family in Tatooine. Senator Organa took Leia. I'm not sure if maybe Master Yoda did something to, um, help Leia stay hidden. Maybe. Kanan and I certainly didn't notice anything, aside from strength of personality, when we did a mission together. Leia and I were both sixteen.

[Obi-Wan takes this all in with the calm and serenity that is expected of a Jedi. At least outwardly. He breathes in slowly, and then turns away, his hands gripping the rail of the balcony as he looks off in the distance. His mind screaming.]

I see.

[Ezra stays quiet a moment.]

I completely understand the reasoning that it's safer that she simply not know, back home.

But what are the odds something doesn't spark her reaching for the Force, in a place like this? Or that she doesn't pick something from us, or other Force users around, or even tries to imitate someone else with their own abilities?

[A part of Obi-Wan just wants to cover his ears and ignore all of this. But that’s not the Jedi way. It’s not the responsible way.]

I know. You’re right. She needs to be taught.

[Then he turns, a glimmer of panic in his blue eyes as he looks at Ezra.]

She needs a master. But… I can’t. After what you’ve told me? About what happens to Anakin? How could I teach his daughter? She deserves better than what I can offer.

[Immediately-]

Leia is not Anakin. She has been raised mindful of her duty to her people. She hasn't had a Sith Lord feeding her worst impulses, in secret.

[He raises a hand to brush along Obi-Wan's arm.] It wouldn't just be your job. She will have me and Cal, as well.

Anakin had the whole blasted Order! And then he killed them!

[As soon as that snap comes out of his mouth he regrets it and shrinks back with a wince.]

I’m sorry. I know she’s not. But it’s not her abilities that I’m doubting. I’m not ready for this. I wasn’t even ready for Anakin.

Patiently, Ezra replies, "He did have a whole Order, and maybe you should take that as a sign that the failing was not truly yours, or at least not yours alone. Anakin-"

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, "Anakin, from what I saw, was afraid all the time. Afraid of loss. And afraid of himself. He would not let himself be loved, not truly. He mistook Palaptine's...flattery for the unconditional part of love, and eventually stopped being willing to put in the real work to live up to the trust people put in him."

Obi-Wan goes quiet again, his expression softening as he looks down. Ezra has a good point. That didn’t quite stop the anxiety bubbling up in him, but it helped. He takes a moment to breathe and then nods.

“You’re right.”

Another pause as he looks up again.

“Why did he feel that way? Surely he wasn’t unloved.”

"He was so loved," Ezra burst out, eyes flying open. "I don't - I don't know. Not really. I know...your older self worried if he'd been demonstrative enough. And did...struggle sometimes with being. Open?"

Ezra bites his lower lip. "Or maybe, it was just me who struggled, occasionally wondering if he'd rather I stop trying to help, and go away. I think-"

He blows out another breath, slowly. "I think one thing Anakin and I have in common is liking feeling, um. Needed. By the people we care about. I never felt unloved by Ben. But I did struggle with that with Kanan, for a while, after he was blinded and he barely talked to me. It was when I struggled with the Dark the most, too. "

“That’s… so sad.”

He lets out a breath, pained at the idea that any Padawan of his would feel unloved.

“I admit I had moments like that with Qui-Gon as well. I don’t think it’s uncommon for that sort of insecurity in any young Padawan.” His shoulders then droop a bit as it seems Anakin didn’t get past that.

“The council thought training him was a bad idea from the start and I agreed. If Qui-Gon hadn’t asked me I wouldn’t have have. Plus training a boy that old… and The Chosen One? I don’t know what my older self was thinking or going through, but that’s quite s burden. Still… I can’t imagine I wouldn’t try my best.”

Ezra visibly jolts. "You said that before - The Chosen One." He blinks, a memory not truly his bubbling up and spilling out, of oppressive physical heat, the ice cold of Vader's presence in the Force of Master Kenobi shouting -

You were the Chosen One!

He'd forgotten that. How could he have forgotten that part of the awfulness of Mustafar? And this Obi-Wan, the padawan, has said something about that, when he'd demanded answers about the future.

"What - what does that mean?"

At first Obi-Wan just blinks at Ezra as if surprised that he doesn’t know.

“It’s a prophecy.”

A pause and then he realizes there needs to be more of an explanation.

“Qui-Gon was obsessed with prophecies. He had me spend hours researching for him on multiple occasions, but every Jedi knows about the Chosen One. It was foretold long ago that someone would come and bring balance to the Force. My master strongly believed that was Anakin.”

Edited 2023-10-15 23:30 (UTC)

Ezra returns the blink, still confused."But what does that even mean? Bring balance how? That sounds so vague. By killing Sidious and then dying, that ends the line of the Sith, sure, I guess-"

He frowns sharply. "Anakin knows all this?"

“Jedi prophecies are usually vague and cryptic. Is that really so surprising?”

Hadn’t they talked about how masters liked to talk that way? Honestly it had been a source of frustration when doing Qui-Gon’s research. He didn’t really understand them either.

“I really don’t know what it’s supposed to mean.”

Obi-Wan then let out a long sigh at the question of whether Anakin knew and he nodded.

“Qui-Gon mentioned it in his presence when the council refused to have him trained. He then… announced he would take Anakin as his apprentice.”

That part is said quietly. It wasn’t a good memory for Obi-Wan.

Ezra raises his eyebrows, and says slowly, sounding severely unimpressed, "I think I see now why Anakin kinda threw a fit when I told him that in Temba Master Kenobi was doing his best for three of us who were padawan level."

Obi-Wan goes quiet and looks down again. A sigh coming from him.

“Like I said. I’m not the one for this.”

Edited 2023-10-16 00:27 (UTC)

Another frown.

"....that's not remotely what I meant. I was more thinking that moment would have made an impression on Anakin. Both that the one padawan, one master rule was important, and that his natural talent made him important enough for Master Jinn to make that pronouncement, anyway. And look, I'm not sure not training him was really an option. That would have, what, potentially put him in a position that Sidious could have been his sole major influence, so much earlier, right? What I was thinking is - Master Kenobi took us on because we were all half trained and he was the one who was there to step up. Not because any of us were extra special. I can't speak for Grogu or Padawan Kestis-"

Ezra's tone firms to steel lined convinction, "But, in every time and place, he always did his best to look after me and he never steered me wrong."

Oh. Obi-Wan runs a hand through his short hair as he listens with a thoughtful frown.

“It seems to me that your group had extenuating circumstances. We have our rules, but the masters are not without reason and understanding. Sounds like Anakin wasn’t nearly so forgiving.”

He’s trying to direct the conversation away from himself now. Because he’s not Master Kenobi. He’s Padawan Kenobi. A version that lacks wisdom and experience. There was no certainty he wouldn’t steer someone wrong.

"No, he-" Ezra outright grimaces. "Honestly? He's the only person who ever tried to tell me I was being lied to, or lying to myself, in believing that I could be a Jedi. Can't help but think there's some major projection, going on there."

Obi-Wan just gives Ezra a horrified look, that then turns pained.

“Why… how could anyone say such a thing?”

"I can't say for sure." He tilts his head thoughtfully.

"But Maul's the only person who told me - not that my temper could just be a problem, but that it was 'unbecoming of a Jedi' to be even momentarily angry at him. So I have to wonder if it was some nonsense Sidious fed both of them. That Jedi have impossible, rigid, hypocritical standards, so why even try to rise above the pull of the Darkside."

“Maul wouldn’t have the first clue what it’s like to be a Jedi. Anakin though…”

Obi-Wan sighs in despair, because Anakin should know better. Why… why was he like this? If he had been raised a Sith that would be one thing. Even with Palpatine’s influence, Anakin should have been surrounded by Jedi. It distressed him so that he ended up like this. The more he heard about it the worse it seemed to get.

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ezra_of_lothal - 2023-10-22 00:34 (UTC) - Expand